Post by THE BLOGGER ! on Nov 22, 2011 0:11:22 GMT -5
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 Hey there, all my bitches! Man, I've really taken some time off. A vacation was exactly what I needed - refreshing, and allowed me to get some interest in the wonderful shit that goes down at Kimball. I mean, Jesus, you guys are a wreck over there! But it's quite the hot mess; all the more fun for me! I'd like to give a special shout out to all the whores over at Kimball. You make my job so easy, especially this month; I guess the horny attitudes are supposed to come out around spring, but we're a few months early this year, huh? Or perhaps we have skanks year round. Welcome to Portland, bitches, enjoy your stay at the home of the scandals. Ivy West. Let me tell you, her name in itself is drama spelled out in capitals, my dearies. Miss Ivy has been bouncing around quite a bit lately, both with boys and the cheer squad - but we'll get to her activity-adhd below. First of all, let's address this girl's relationship status. What the hell is she? Single? Taken? It's starting to look more like an open relationship to me. I observed her and supposed 'boyfriend' Alan Davison all lovey dovey over at her place myself... but I'll put my money that it won't last. Once a whore, always a whore, right? A little birdie told me that Ivy had her eyes all over the positively drool-worthy Antony Reynolds. New boy around town... why not make him your boy toy, eh? I guess that means the vixen is all finished up with hunky teacher Dallas Baker. How juicy was that short relationship, huh? Fiery and filled with passion. Ivy went over to his house late at night with the hots, and he welcomed her in without any hesitation, a source says. Sultry night of sex? Ivy left the next morning, sex hair and all. That's an interesting pair, indeed. I hope the wonderful Mr. Baker can keep his job - drooling high school girls are bound to be all over him in no time, given that Ivy has let a few girls know exactly how long it is... That ties beautifully into my next point - the cheer squad. Man, is that pyramid coming down - fast. The lovely Ivy West, who we met above, is oh-so-involved in this juicy drama as well. Miss Ivy, after her lusty night with the teacher, quite abruptly decided she wanted to switch on over to the band geeks! Suspicious, if you ask me. Perhaps he was motivating her through... sexual favors, anyone? Oh well, don't let me get off topic, now. Once head cheerleader Barbie Lyons heard about this, well, she cracked the whip! Ivy seems to be back in her place, but the perfectly plastic Barb has decided to host a completely new cheerleading tryout! Wow. Fully open tryouts have not happened for four years in Kimball's past now, so Barbie must be desperate. Like I said, maybe the snotty bitches cheering for our hunky jocks whilst skillfully flashing their barely covered fake titties will be coming down to the rejects soon enough. You never know! However, there is one girl who has been delivered from the evil of the tryouts - miss Beau Strauch. Why her? The chubby base has been at the bottom of the cheerleader food chain for a while. I've heard everyone disregards her. So why did bimbo Barb choose her to assist in the tryouts? Sounds like our famous Barbie has got a plan brewing again in that twisted little mind of hers. Don't we love the shit that bitch comes up with? Stay tuned, I'm sure more will follow. Meantime, watch your back, Beausy. Speaking of Beau Strauch, her exclusive relationship with Nathan Fletcher has finally ended, ladies and gentlemen. That's right, that long, fucked up duo is finally calling the quits - but what's this? Beau wasted no time looking for a new guy to fuck around with. Guess who I happened to see sneaking over to Beau's place exactly two nights after her split with Nate? Colten Hanning, ladies and gentlemen. That's right, that sexy player that we all know and love... or not. Cole and Beau seemed to hit it off quite quickly... and literally. How was the fuck, Colten? Catch any crabs while you were down there? Only a week later, guess who popped the question? That's right. Beau and Cole are now the new thing! How fun is this? Oh, I forgot to mention one thing - Colten and Nate are best friends! Or, ex-best friends, I should say. How ever will this go down? What has our star whore Nathan Fletcher been up to, you ask? Well, he's been quite busy. As well as Ashton Williams, as well as Aaron Patrick! Man, Barbie Lyons sure has her hands full with all of these bachelors. Her pathetic thing with Aaron lasted a poor amount of time, before the son of a bitch dumped her over allegedly cheating on him with not one but two other guys! Nate and Ashton were sure busy in bed with Barb behind Aaron's back - how fun! I mean, really, Barb? I thought you whored around within the popular realm! I guess she's dipping down to the rejects now, because in case none of you knew, Ashton is indeed a stoner. Tell me, Barb, can he roll one during sex if you're on top? All this drama! It just makes me want to squeal with delight. Barbie really has wound herself into the tightest of nets, as she does well with others. Finally having a taste of your own medicine, dirty whore, or do you need to be completely broken before you get it? My guess is the latter, and I'd be glad to assist, if I do say so myself. After splitting with Aaron unexpectedly - over the online chat, may I add - Barb seemed to drop most of those guys like hot rocks, but quickly pick up another. Vin Owens is quite the eye candy, no one could deny, but even I didn't see Barbie going for him. The two had quite the steamy makeout session down at Aftershock, and when I say steamy, I mean against-the-wall and about-to-fuck worthy. Vin got a little carried away and stripped down to the boxers before some other guy decided to join in on the fun. Everyone wants a hunk of Barbie, I guess. Not me, that bitch has got Gonorrhea dripping off of her. Anyway, random third party enters and gets a handful of Barb's goodies, only to say hello to Mr. Owens's fist. That's right, right in the face! So, Vin was kindly escorted out before the dancers could trip on his jizz or the blood of the guy's broken nose. Damn! Everyone wants to share the blue waffle, Barb. Our lovers have quite the busy schedule lately. On a calmer note, positively scrumptious jock Cade Montgomery is paired up with the lovely Ever Austerlitz. What a cute couple, storybook, even. The perfect jock and the quiet cheerleader. Too quiet, if you ask me. She'll be out of the populars before she know it - I doubt the prude can keep her head above the water. But anyway, Cade was spotted heading over to Nichole Reid's house for a scrumptious meeting. What went down? Not sure, didn't have my binoculars handy, but we can all guess. It doesn't take all night to get some juicy happenings going, but Cade was in until pretty late at night, so I'm not doubting that something went down. Perhaps even the quiet ones can go crazy in bed, huh? I suppose Cade isn't quiet - or, he hasn't always been. Mr. Montgomery used to be resident whore around Kimball, that is, until his silly slutty ways caused the death of his girlfriend. Kristen Avenues wrapped her car around a tree last year following Cade's exploration of other girl's talents down under... was it on purpose, or a delightfully ironic occurence? Either way, Kristy's dead and gone and Cade's moved on to newer, better things, like Nichole. However, miss Nich isn't exactly his to claim - in fact, she's Noah Whittaker's, to be exact. Noah and Nichole have been a thing for a few days now, not long, but they seem to be a pretty stable couple, wouldn't you say? This makes me wonder if Cade isn't happy about the relationship. On the online chat, Cade seemed to be eager to log out directly following any mention of Noah, even though he seems to deny this until he's blue in the face. Come on, Cade, you can tell us. We don't bite! All righty, bitches. That's the scoop for this month! I have a few other stories, but they weren't worthy of being pulled out this month. Who knows? Given a few weeks, maybe they'll develop into the newest drama, and you'll hear about them next issue. I'm so glad you all love my blog, it gives me joy to see all of the reactions to my works of art. Got something to say? Feel free to comment below. I love you all so very much! And please, do your part, and keep the dirt coming. Whether you're creating the dirt or letting me know, I appreciate all of the help, guys, really. Remember, I couldn't do it without you! Until next month, my little puppets. Ciao! to comment ! 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